In February of 2001 , my life-partner of 13 years and I were quietly living in Houston, Texas. Neither of us had had any contact with the LDS Church for many years and in fact, had been living at this address for more than three years without even knowing where the local LDS Church was located.

Imagine our surprise to receive a knock on the door and have a man identify himself as the Ward Clerk--who had just received our records--inviting us to church.

My partner then told him we were not interested in attending and when pressed, told him to "do the math" as he held records for two men living at this address.

A light went on and he said that he would have to report this to the Bishop. My partner told him to do what he had to do and left it at that.

Within a week a phone call came from the Bishop asking permission to visit us in our home. Having no reason to deny this request, we acquiesced and set the appointment.

The Bishop and his First Counselor arrived and the jeremiad began politely--escalating only as my partner and the First Counselor did not see eye-to-eye on whether one's spirituality is independent of church membership. The Bishop and I initially both remained rather quiet and I particularly was more prone to simple observing the tactics and 3rd degree being foisted upon us by the invited guests in our home.

At the end of the 90-minute meeting, the Bishop seemed concerned that I was not more concerned with losing my membership. He said that he expected me to be more upset. I remained stoic; I had no ready answers and like a well-trained Mormon, did not question authority.

He assured us that there would be two church trials--one on a Ward level for my Aaronic Priesthood partner and one on the Stake level for me--as an endowed Melchizedek Priesthood holder.

We were told to watch the mail for further information and to plan on attending our respective trials.

I told him that I had no desire to attend mine and when he asked why, I told him that in my estimation, it was a foregone conclusion in their minds or there would be no need for a trial.

We were told that if we ended our 13-year relationship and repented, we might be spared excommunication.

I'm afraid I laughed at that.

Here is a copy of the letter I received a couple of weeks later from a group of men I had never even met (the highlighting is mine):