So I went.

It was scheduled from 9:00am to 9:30pm and I bailed around 2:30. I found that five hours was plenty this go-around. And the “spiritual meeting” was last on the agenda — and was something that I had no desire to see, hear or feel.

I ran into several close companions and mission buddies — Rodriguez, Emerick, Brino, Serra, Neves, Homolka and Gava and it was truly a great experience. I felt so welcomed and we all shed a few tears, choked on a few laughs and shared remembrances.

This emotional pleasantness reminded me that real relationships are built on trust, mutual respect and friendship — and that those outlast and outweigh anything built solely on mutually-shared beliefs.

While I was asked several times if I was, “married, have children?” I responded that I was not married and had no children. And then came the , “Were you ever married?” followed by, “Just didn’t find the right one?”

I happily agreed that they had hit it on the head and we left it at that. This was not the time nor place to discuss my sexuality or my relationship with my honey. Those who are my friends on Facebook should have already figured it out — and seem to have no problems with “it” or me (and four of these are listed above).

Only one former missionary and his wife asked me, “So, Elder, are you still “firm” in the church?” — fully expecting that I would say yes.

When I responded, “No.” they actually flinched and then he said, “That makes me very sad”.

I responded that I was very happy and that he had no reason to be sad on my behalf.

They both thought carefully for a moment and then we continued our conversation in another direction, with me not perceiving any appreciable change in how they were treating or talking to me.

I had expected the worst today and was willing subject myself to this reunion in order to gut-check my own feelings, beliefs and emotions.

I did okay.

I keep obsessing over this “Former Mission President’s 80th Birthday & Mission Reunion” in Campinas on Saturday.

I signed up via Facebook to go — and have spent countless hours trying to figure out how to get there:

• I reserved a rental car and then cancelled the reservation because I really don’t want to drive in São Paulo traffic
• I checked flight schedules and no one flies between the two points
• I thought about buying a cheap ticket anywhere on Azul airlines because they have a “free” bus that runs from the Congonhas airport near where I work to the Campinas airport every hour or so — nah, too expensive and a waste of a good ticket
• I thought about the car service that picks me up when I arrive in Brazil, but figured since I would be footing the bill, I’d forego that luxury

I finally reverted mentally back 35 years and decided to head to the rodoviária early Saturday  morning and take a bus. That should bring back plenty of memories, as that was the only way we traveled between cities “back in the day” for conferences, transfers and visa renewals.

in addition to seeing old mission companions, former missionaries and my dear — now old — first mission president — not to mention dealing with the the religious throwback (or will it be blowback?) — I expect this to be a fairly stressful day.

But I am still looking forward to it.

I just accepted an invitation to attend the 80th birthday of my first mission president, along with a mission reunion to take place at the same time, in Campinas, SP, Brazil. Coincidentally, I was already going to be in Brazil for work (which is not that odd, since I am every month) and figured I should take advantage of this opportunity.

I have mixed feelings about this, but based on my conversation with my dear friend and former mission companion last week in Vienna, decided to confirm my attendance.

My friend simply stated that he feels that “my mission” is to challenge members of the LDS church by simply being myself and showing them that gay people are not the bugbears that they are taught and/or believe them to be.

This should be interesting.

And I refuse to wear a white shirt and tie.

Something sparked an interest the other day and I made a mental note to check, but forgot until this morning: A sister missionary from my mission in Brazil who had ‘friended’ me on Facebook last year and then proceeded to bombard me with personal (non-viewable to others) messages asking, “What happened to you since your mission?” has indeed de-friended me. I assume she did not like reading about my happiness and normalcy in the midst of my supposed “wickedness”, as it kind of flies in the face of everything in which she has put her faith.

I am so sorry to disappoint her.

And so begins 2013.

I woke up in São Paulo to a very foggy morning and even though it is now noon, the haze has not completely burned off.

I spent a couple of hours walking around Parque de Ibirapuera and taking photos. Many great shots incorporated the fog, so this set of photos is not just more of the same.

Yesterday I had a meeting at the HQ building for my company’s parent company and got to experience a different part of the greater city. The area was an older town with small, narrow streets and many corporations have built (and continue to build) large modern buildings there. It’s amazing to see the amount of construction going on in this city!

An old Brazilian mission buddy of mine has sent me a message saying that he will call me tonight after he gets off work. Elder Fóz was laid up in the mission office for several weeks in 1979 with knee surgery and we became friends at that time. I haven’t seen nor spoken to him since then, so it will be interesting to see where he is in his life.

Many old mission companions and friends are on Facebook and I see their incessant posts bragging about children on missions, temple marriages, their callings. etc. Reminds me of old friends who are still “dragging Grand” in Laramie — something they did in high school but without ever outgrowing those “glory years”. I feel like I have graduated and moved on. Many in Brazil have contacted me and want to talk, but I really have nothing to share with most of them and am not really ready to rehash the mission and “what happened to you since?” question.

Tomorrow I leave for São Paulo again. It’s the middle of winter and the forecast calls for rain and nighttime temperatures in the 40s and 50s, so this will be a nice change from our hot, dry spell here in Utah this year (though we did get a nice rainstorm early this afternoon).

One of the events to which I have been invited is a baby shower. My first in Brazil. The mother (who is an employee of the company with which I work — and a friend of both mine and my honey) had asked me to buy her a baby swing for which she would reimburse me. I decided it would make a better shower present — and then I won’t feel bad if I picked the wrong one. I don’t have a lot of experience shopping for newborns.

Two Facebook sites have requested my membership and they are diametrically opposed to each other — the first, the mission reunion site I mentioned previously and the 2nd, an ex-Mórmon (it’s all in Portuguese) site that pokes fun at the church.

I hope I don’t mix up any posts I may make.

In honor of the 80th birthday president of my first mission president in Brazil, a cadre of former missionaries who served under Jason Garcia de Souza are hosting a mission reunion in Campinas, SP, Brazil next April. If I am in country at that time (and based on this year, I may be), I plan on attending.

As a framework to support this endeavor a Facebook page was created and dozens of former Brazilian and American missionaries who served in the Brazil Porto Alegre Mission from 1976-79 have begun to flock to the site.

One American sister missionary who went by the name of “Sister Sandra” during her 18 months in Brazil (the name “Silva” — her real last name — had been previously taken by another sister missionary) privately messaged me on Facebook and wrote, “Elder, what happened to you since your mission?”, followed by a sad face. Apparently after requesting to be ‘friended’, she read my profile, looked at my photos, etc. Now apparently she feels a need to call me to repentance.

For now, I am not responding. I find it somewhat annoying that my personal life, experiences and beliefs are become fodder for people who feel they have a monopoly on “the truth”. I want to rid myself of my resentment before I ask why my life is really any of her concern (see, this is why I need to wait).

And in about 45 minutes, I’ll be heading back to the SLC airport for the flight to Chicago, which connects me to my flight to São Paulo. It’s going to be a busy weekend and week, as we upgrade this large airline to a newer version of their core reservations system — a project on which I have been engaged for almost two years.

Hmmm. Another two-year mission in Brazil. This one certainly pays better.

And so here I sit in the Chicago O’Hare Airport again, waiting for my connecting flight to São Paulo in a couple of hours. This is my fifth trip to Brazil in the last year and I have certainly enjoyed my time there, albeit it 99% being work-related.

I did book a trip from São Paulo to Navegantes for this coming weekend, so that I could visit Blumenau once again. It seems like I was just there, but in reality, it’s been almost a year and a half. I’m sure not much has changed since my two visits in 2010, which is just as well, considering how freaked out I was after seeing it for the first time since 1985.

I spent the first eight months of my mission in Brazil in this city and it has lots of special memories for me. I was assustado to see how much had changed — to the point where I felt disoriented the whole weekend I was there.

When people ask me if I see anyone there, I say, “They’re all dead”. And they gasp, but it’s probably close to the truth. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only soul alive in the city when I’m wandering the streets, even though there are thousands of other people living, shopping, sleeping and walking about. It’s like a ‘memory ghost town’ for me. Really strange — but I keep going back.

My two-week vacation is coming to a close after the ‘official’ holiday on Monday and I’m not sure I’m ready to go back. I could sure get used to being home all of the time.

One good thing is that I am leaving for Brazil for work again on the 8th and will be there for almost two weeks — including a side trip to Blumenau once again.

As always, I anticipate seeing no one that I knew from my mission, so it feels a bit like going to a ghost town, albeit filled with strangers. There is just something about re-visiting the first city of my mission and re-living the almost 8 months I spent there 1978-79 that makes me feel like I’m “home” and in a much simpler version of my life.

Last time I was there, I located Betty Clements’ grave and that was a major thing on my checklist. This time, I have no agenda other than to passear a bit.