My honey’s niece heard an interesting story about me last Thanksgiving and asked if she could interview me for a project for her college Social Justice class.

Here is the result:

YouTube LINK

So I went.

It was scheduled from 9:00am to 9:30pm and I bailed around 2:30. I found that five hours was plenty this go-around. And the “spiritual meeting” was last on the agenda — and was something that I had no desire to see, hear or feel.

I ran into several close companions and mission buddies — Rodriguez, Emerick, Brino, Serra, Neves, Homolka and Gava and it was truly a great experience. I felt so welcomed and we all shed a few tears, choked on a few laughs and shared remembrances.

This emotional pleasantness reminded me that real relationships are built on trust, mutual respect and friendship — and that those outlast and outweigh anything built solely on mutually-shared beliefs.

While I was asked several times if I was, “married, have children?” I responded that I was not married and had no children. And then came the , “Were you ever married?” followed by, “Just didn’t find the right one?”

I happily agreed that they had hit it on the head and we left it at that. This was not the time nor place to discuss my sexuality or my relationship with my honey. Those who are my friends on Facebook should have already figured it out — and seem to have no problems with “it” or me (and four of these are listed above).

Only one former missionary and his wife asked me, “So, Elder, are you still “firm” in the church?” — fully expecting that I would say yes.

When I responded, “No.” they actually flinched and then he said, “That makes me very sad”.

I responded that I was very happy and that he had no reason to be sad on my behalf.

They both thought carefully for a moment and then we continued our conversation in another direction, with me not perceiving any appreciable change in how they were treating or talking to me.

I had expected the worst today and was willing subject myself to this reunion in order to gut-check my own feelings, beliefs and emotions.

I did okay.

While not 100% confirmable simply because the LDS church does not reveal its finances except in countries where it is required by law (e.g. UK, Canada), the following article provides enough insight and extrapolation to give pause for thought:

How Much Does a Mormon Apostle Make?

The interesting part for me is where the church advises mission presidents not to discuss nor claim their funds receipt from the church as “income”.

Once more example of institutionalized “lying for the Lord”.

I keep obsessing over this “Former Mission President’s 80th Birthday & Mission Reunion” in Campinas on Saturday.

I signed up via Facebook to go — and have spent countless hours trying to figure out how to get there:

• I reserved a rental car and then cancelled the reservation because I really don’t want to drive in São Paulo traffic
• I checked flight schedules and no one flies between the two points
• I thought about buying a cheap ticket anywhere on Azul airlines because they have a “free” bus that runs from the Congonhas airport near where I work to the Campinas airport every hour or so — nah, too expensive and a waste of a good ticket
• I thought about the car service that picks me up when I arrive in Brazil, but figured since I would be footing the bill, I’d forego that luxury

I finally reverted mentally back 35 years and decided to head to the rodoviária early Saturday  morning and take a bus. That should bring back plenty of memories, as that was the only way we traveled between cities “back in the day” for conferences, transfers and visa renewals.

in addition to seeing old mission companions, former missionaries and my dear — now old — first mission president — not to mention dealing with the the religious throwback (or will it be blowback?) — I expect this to be a fairly stressful day.

But I am still looking forward to it.

The first newsworthy quotes coming from April General Conference emanate from his moral excellency, Boyd Packer:

Just because the nation may change its laws to “tolerate legalized acts of immorality” does not make those acts any less spiritually damaging, senior apostle Boyd K. Packer said Saturday morning at the LDS Church’s 183rd Annual General Conference.

“The permissiveness afforded by the weakening of the laws of the land to tolerate legalized acts of immorality,” Packer said, “does not reduce the serious spiritual consequences that result from the violation of God’s law of chastity.”

This surprises no one, least of all me, but I had hoped for a more tolerant church response to the push for marriage equality in this country.

His sitting tirade of inclusion, diversity and unconditional love included this as well:

“Tolerance is a virtue, but, like all virtues, when exaggerated it transforms itself into a vice,” said the 88-year-old Packer, speaking from his seat rather than from the pulpit. “We need to be careful of the ‘tolerance trap’ so that we are not swallowed up in it.”

The Salt Lake Tribune article also mentions the “separate but equal” status of women in the church with this bon mot:

Several church leaders also spoke Saturday morning about the important but separate roles of women within the Mormon faith. For the first time in the church’s history, a woman, Jean A. Stevens, offered a public prayer at General Conference.

And then continues on to drive the point home.

“Men and women have different but equally valued roles,” apostle M. Russell Ballard said Saturday. “Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman. In other words, in the eternal perspective, both the procreative power and the priesthood power are shared by a husband and wife.”

Ballard went on to discuss a new church-produced video called “Strengthening the Family and the Church through the Priesthood” that “shows us all — men, women, children, married, widowed or single, no matter what our circumstances — how we can be partakers of the blessings of the priesthood.”

The church can make all of the videos, create all of the websites, play all of the new social media games it wants, but it does not obfuscate the fact that it has to change to survive — and yet, demonstrates again this conference its unwillingness to do so.

ADDENDUM: One reader ["MenaceToSociety"] of the Salt Lake Tribune article quoted above had this to say:

Say we could classify our treatment of our neighbors roughly as Love, Like, Accept, Tolerate, Dislike, and Hate. Packer isn’t talking about Love Thy Gay Neighbor. Or Like. Or Accept. Packer is resisting Tolerating Thy Gay Neighbor, when tolerate is really quite a low standard. Strange level of feeling towards his neighbors for a church leader.

Bags backed and first flight completed. Now I’m just waiting for my connecting flight to São Paulo in the Houston airport.

This is LDS General Conference weekend and probably a good time for me to be out of town, as I will be reliant on non-real-time media to report the proceedings, which will keep my blood pressure lower.

This is the one rumored to have a woman offer a prayer during at least one of the sessions — a huge stride for Mormonism, but an embarrassment that women are still largely relegated to 2nd-class status.

When I mention to Mormon friends that women were not allowed to pray in Sacrament meeting until 1978, they recoil in horror as if they were finally discovering that their church is really NOT the “only true church”. Then they quickly recover once the mantra of “we have a living prophet and he receives revelations from god” resurfaces in their little brainwashed heads — which appeases any demons that may have arisen to cause such doubt.

I can’t wait to hear President of the Quorum of the Twelve Boyd Packer flail from his wheelchair about the evils of homosexuality, as he is always wont to do — especially with the recent Supreme Court arguments around California’s Prop 8 and the federal Defense of Marriage Act.. I chuckle to think of how predictable he is — and how uninspired and uninspiring.

A friend pointed out last week that many general authorities who have come from regions and jobs outside of “Zion” seem to have a much more pragmatic view of things and are rather more accommodating when it comes to homosexuality.

I reminded him that Packer came from Brigham City and the Church Educational System and he said, “Well, that just proves my point”.

Someone has started a website to champion the ordination of women to the LDS priesthood.

LINK

I just accepted an invitation to attend the 80th birthday of my first mission president, along with a mission reunion to take place at the same time, in Campinas, SP, Brazil. Coincidentally, I was already going to be in Brazil for work (which is not that odd, since I am every month) and figured I should take advantage of this opportunity.

I have mixed feelings about this, but based on my conversation with my dear friend and former mission companion last week in Vienna, decided to confirm my attendance.

My friend simply stated that he feels that “my mission” is to challenge members of the LDS church by simply being myself and showing them that gay people are not the bugbears that they are taught and/or believe them to be.

This should be interesting.

And I refuse to wear a white shirt and tie.

A sea of red “equality” icons washed over Facebook’s user profiles on Tuesday and Wednesday this week to encourage, honor and support the Supreme Court’s agreement to hear challenges against “The Defense of Marriage Act” and California’s Prop 8.

Here is mine–

I would say that most people who did not agree, remained relatively silent and respectful. Except for my LDS 2nd cousin.

Here is what I wrote in response to her unbelievably passive-agressive post of the LDS church’s ”The Family — A Proclamation to the World”:

I’m almost shaking as I do not do this lightly:

I just de-friended an LDS (Mormon) member of my family whose sole response to the Supreme Court’s ongoing consideration of marriage/benefits equality — and apparently the red “equality” signs all over Facebook — was to post the LDS church’s 1995 “The Family — A Proclamation to the World” with no other comment — but very telling in its timing, on today of all days.

This document basically states that, “…marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children”.

Further, it states that anyone who abides outside of that parameter, “will one day stand accountable before God” and continues, “… we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.”

Had she encouraged an actual dialog or made an attempt to understand that some may not believe or feel the same as she does — and that there are indeed, many shades of grey in this world — I would have embraced this. Because of the way this was done (“in your face, infidels”), I regretfully say, goodbye.

You took your stand. I take mine.

Her grandmother (and my aunt) also unfriended at least one of my cousins (her niece) who had the audacity to state that she supported marriage equality. I told my cousin that I found it interesting that once again they had chosen “god” over family.

This particular LDS family continues to demonstrate their lack of understanding of what the “unconditional” part of unconditional love means.

Beginning tomorrow, the United States Supreme Court will hear arguments on overturning (or sustaining) the Defense of Marriage Act, which dates from President Clinton’s term in office and California’s Proposition 8 which overturned marriage equality in the state of California (and which was to a great deal funded and pushed by the LDS church).

News reports today indicate that there has been a sea-change in public opinion over the last nine years, and that more than 53% of Americans now support marriage equality for  gays and lesbians. Most people now say they have a gay relative or friend, so apparently living in the closet helps no one.

I believe the rulings are not anticipated until June, so the next 2-3 months will be tense and a political hotbed. I can’t wait to see the tripe that will hit Facebook as those who want to maintain the status quo fight their losing battle via the social media.