I’ve been home from Brazil for a week now and am really enjoying the calm, routine and spending time with my honey and our animals.

I head back down there in two weeks, but until then will continue to enjoy a beautiful spring in Salt Lake City.

So I went.

It was scheduled from 9:00am to 9:30pm and I bailed around 2:30. I found that five hours was plenty this go-around. And the “spiritual meeting” was last on the agenda — and was something that I had no desire to see, hear or feel.

I ran into several close companions and mission buddies — Rodriguez, Emerick, Brino, Serra, Neves, Homolka and Gava and it was truly a great experience. I felt so welcomed and we all shed a few tears, choked on a few laughs and shared remembrances.

This emotional pleasantness reminded me that real relationships are built on trust, mutual respect and friendship — and that those outlast and outweigh anything built solely on mutually-shared beliefs.

While I was asked several times if I was, “married, have children?” I responded that I was not married and had no children. And then came the , “Were you ever married?” followed by, “Just didn’t find the right one?”

I happily agreed that they had hit it on the head and we left it at that. This was not the time nor place to discuss my sexuality or my relationship with my honey. Those who are my friends on Facebook should have already figured it out — and seem to have no problems with “it” or me (and four of these are listed above).

Only one former missionary and his wife asked me, “So, Elder, are you still “firm” in the church?” — fully expecting that I would say yes.

When I responded, “No.” they actually flinched and then he said, “That makes me very sad”.

I responded that I was very happy and that he had no reason to be sad on my behalf.

They both thought carefully for a moment and then we continued our conversation in another direction, with me not perceiving any appreciable change in how they were treating or talking to me.

I had expected the worst today and was willing subject myself to this reunion in order to gut-check my own feelings, beliefs and emotions.

I did okay.

A sea of red “equality” icons washed over Facebook’s user profiles on Tuesday and Wednesday this week to encourage, honor and support the Supreme Court’s agreement to hear challenges against “The Defense of Marriage Act” and California’s Prop 8.

Here is mine–

I would say that most people who did not agree, remained relatively silent and respectful. Except for my LDS 2nd cousin.

Here is what I wrote in response to her unbelievably passive-agressive post of the LDS church’s ”The Family — A Proclamation to the World”:

I’m almost shaking as I do not do this lightly:

I just de-friended an LDS (Mormon) member of my family whose sole response to the Supreme Court’s ongoing consideration of marriage/benefits equality — and apparently the red “equality” signs all over Facebook — was to post the LDS church’s 1995 “The Family — A Proclamation to the World” with no other comment — but very telling in its timing, on today of all days.

This document basically states that, “…marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children”.

Further, it states that anyone who abides outside of that parameter, “will one day stand accountable before God” and continues, “… we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.”

Had she encouraged an actual dialog or made an attempt to understand that some may not believe or feel the same as she does — and that there are indeed, many shades of grey in this world — I would have embraced this. Because of the way this was done (“in your face, infidels”), I regretfully say, goodbye.

You took your stand. I take mine.

Her grandmother (and my aunt) also unfriended at least one of my cousins (her niece) who had the audacity to state that she supported marriage equality. I told my cousin that I found it interesting that once again they had chosen “god” over family.

This particular LDS family continues to demonstrate their lack of understanding of what the “unconditional” part of unconditional love means.

An old mission companion and former LDS bishop, mentioned to me this week that he thinks the LDS church will have to change its policies on gays and marriage equality in the coming years. To quote him, “I think this will happen before women get the priesthood, unfortunately”.

He said that much of what is paraded about as “doctrine” is in fact, simply policy and is not based on anything more than cultural and passé contemporary bias.

We discussed how the church is on the wrong side of history and will have to adapt and change or run the risk of becoming irrelevant. He mentioned that the secrecy and whitewashing of LDS leaders’ and church history needs to change.

He cited how the former RLDS (Community of Christ) church has adapted with the times and mentioned specifically how they have been open with church history and simply shrug and say, “That’s the way it was; let’s learn from it”.

We discussed my own homosexuality, excommunication and other related topics and he said that he felt that I was still a missionary — albeit for a different reason than perhaps I knew. He also said that our excommunication was “really mishandled”.

While I had previously noted that this man was somewhat liberal in his thought, I was surprised to hear just how liberal he is — and a real example of unconditional (and could it be? Christlike) love.

ADDENDUM: One of the things mentioned in the conversation was that he felt that the church’s Proclamation on the Family needs to be “quietly retired”. He said that it is an embarrassment to the church and will be seen as such in the future.

Today marks our 25th Anniversary together.

I still love this guy with all of my heart.

Us in April 1988

Three weeks is a long time away from my honey and our life together.

I will return to Brazil only in April and aside from a week-long pleasure trip to Prague and Vienna to celebrate our 25th anniversary, have the pleasure of spending the next month em casa.

Spring is in air and this is my favorite season.

Good timing.

My honey and I begin planning our 25th anniversary celebration(s) last night and I ended up booking us first class tickets on United Airlines in late March to Prague. Neither of us had ever  been there and for some reason as I looked through the world destinations available to me as a Premier 1K with lots of miles, that city caught my eye.

Within hours of posting about it on Facebook, dozens of friends and family commented affirmatively on the decision — many of them having previously experienced this old European city. I guess I feared more “You may want to rethink that”s or “We hated Prague” comments, but was please to see none.

This year also marks my honey’s 50th birthday and we are thinking of planning a “50/25″ party similar to the one we did for my 50th and our 20th anniversary in 2008. I suspect we may do that in July to avoid weather-related travel for those of our loved ones who chose to traverse I-80.

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On another note, the US Supreme Court has determined to hear two key cases revolving around marriage equality on March 26th and 27th. Wouldn’t this be a good year to be able to actually legalize and legitimize our relationship?

This week the LDS church launched a new website that is an attempt at rapprochement to the gay community, and perhaps their own little attempt at penance for the Prop 8 PR fiasco in California.

According to an interviewed official on KSL-TV, “…the site has been under development for more than two years”. [Personal aside: I could have put it together in a day; it must have been getting buy-in from Boyd K. Packer that took the other 729 days.]

Here are a few quotes from the site that stood out for me (all emphasis is mine):

This official website does not offer a comprehensive explanation of everything related to same-sex attraction, but it does reflect the feelings of Church leaders as to how we should treat each other as part of the human family. The site offers a place where the people whose lives are impacted by attraction to the same sex can find inspiration to work through difficult challenges while remaining faithful to Church teachings.

The Church’s approach to this issue stands apart from society in many ways. And that’s alright. Reasonable people can and do differ. From a public relations perspective it would be easier for the Church to simply accept homosexual behavior. That we cannot do, for God’s law is not ours to change. There is no change in the Church’s position of what is morally right. But what is changing — and what needs to change — is to help Church members respond sensitively and thoughtfully when they encounter same-sex attraction in their own families, among other Church members, or elsewhere.

(more…)

Started a little packing today, but nothing serious yet. Tomorrow morning brings on the dash to fit and remember everything for my two weeks in Brazil.

I bought a larger suitcase to take this time, and am having to deliver a replacement laptop to a co-worker there (and bring her old one back to the US), so I wanted to be able to pack it instead of carrying it. I didn’t pay a fortune for a lighter-than-air MacBook for traveling only to have an 8-pound Dell become my ball-and-carry-on-chain.

I’m glad I was able to spend the weekend at home with my honey. We spent a lot of time together and just enjoyed each other’s company.

I’m starting to think about prepping for my next trip to Brazil (in four days). Originally I was to leave tomorrow, but a change in plans on the return due to a newly-scheduled meeting the day after I was to come home allowed me to shift the outbound back a couple of days as well. I like being home.

The week at work (just back from two weeks off) has been relatively quiet, which was a welcome change and a nice transition.

Next month is our company’s annual customer conference and for me, September is pretty much a lost month due to tight deadlines, meetings, planning sessions, etc. October should offer some more breathing space — and I have already purchased my ticket for that 10th trip to Brazil.

My honey and I took a 2-day trip to Las Vegas last weekend to spend time with his family who were gathered there. We had a relaxing time and didn’t lose as much money as we took, so consider it a success.

On that trip we stopped at his mother’s in St. George to pick up an item to carry to his sister in Las Vegas and ended up having a rather heated discussion about marriage. She is considering marriage number 6, but has no problem supporting anti-marriage equality initiatives on the ballot. A rather frustrating conversation took place and while I am prone to discussion, normally my honey is not. He was this time.

A couple of days later I asked him, “If and when we are legally able to get married, are you going to invite your mother?”

He didn’t answer.