My honey’s niece heard an interesting story about me last Thanksgiving and asked if she could interview me for a project for her college Social Justice class.

Here is the result:

YouTube LINK

So I went.

It was scheduled from 9:00am to 9:30pm and I bailed around 2:30. I found that five hours was plenty this go-around. And the “spiritual meeting” was last on the agenda — and was something that I had no desire to see, hear or feel.

I ran into several close companions and mission buddies — Rodriguez, Emerick, Brino, Serra, Neves, Homolka and Gava and it was truly a great experience. I felt so welcomed and we all shed a few tears, choked on a few laughs and shared remembrances.

This emotional pleasantness reminded me that real relationships are built on trust, mutual respect and friendship — and that those outlast and outweigh anything built solely on mutually-shared beliefs.

While I was asked several times if I was, “married, have children?” I responded that I was not married and had no children. And then came the , “Were you ever married?” followed by, “Just didn’t find the right one?”

I happily agreed that they had hit it on the head and we left it at that. This was not the time nor place to discuss my sexuality or my relationship with my honey. Those who are my friends on Facebook should have already figured it out — and seem to have no problems with “it” or me (and four of these are listed above).

Only one former missionary and his wife asked me, “So, Elder, are you still “firm” in the church?” — fully expecting that I would say yes.

When I responded, “No.” they actually flinched and then he said, “That makes me very sad”.

I responded that I was very happy and that he had no reason to be sad on my behalf.

They both thought carefully for a moment and then we continued our conversation in another direction, with me not perceiving any appreciable change in how they were treating or talking to me.

I had expected the worst today and was willing subject myself to this reunion in order to gut-check my own feelings, beliefs and emotions.

I did okay.

I keep obsessing over this “Former Mission President’s 80th Birthday & Mission Reunion” in Campinas on Saturday.

I signed up via Facebook to go — and have spent countless hours trying to figure out how to get there:

• I reserved a rental car and then cancelled the reservation because I really don’t want to drive in São Paulo traffic
• I checked flight schedules and no one flies between the two points
• I thought about buying a cheap ticket anywhere on Azul airlines because they have a “free” bus that runs from the Congonhas airport near where I work to the Campinas airport every hour or so — nah, too expensive and a waste of a good ticket
• I thought about the car service that picks me up when I arrive in Brazil, but figured since I would be footing the bill, I’d forego that luxury

I finally reverted mentally back 35 years and decided to head to the rodoviária early Saturday  morning and take a bus. That should bring back plenty of memories, as that was the only way we traveled between cities “back in the day” for conferences, transfers and visa renewals.

in addition to seeing old mission companions, former missionaries and my dear — now old — first mission president — not to mention dealing with the the religious throwback (or will it be blowback?) — I expect this to be a fairly stressful day.

But I am still looking forward to it.

So we were having brunch with our friend this morning and he said, “We were at the library for the candlelight vigil for Mary Geequality last week…”.

I wondered who Mary was, how she had died and why he acted as if we should know her.

Then I realized what he had actually said.

I’m glad we have friends who support Marriage Equality

I arrived this morning for my 2nd trip to Brazil this year. I’m here for a full three weeks this time because my honey and I are taking off the last half of March for vacation and I won’t be able to be here again until April.

On that note, we are celebrating our 25th anniversary on March 17th and have planned a trip to Prague to visit an historical and storied city that neither of us have yet visited. When I posted that fact on Facebook, every single comment was positive about what a great choice Prague was. Good to know!

We are also planning a big celebration for our family and friends at the Salt Lake Marriott City Center in July to celebrate both our anniversary and my honey’s 50th birthday (Note that we have been together exactly half of his life — and just slightly less than of mine). This will be a large occasion that we wanted to share with all who wish to attend.

When I mentioned that the U.S. Supreme court may actually have cleared the way for us to marry by then, he actually commented, “That would be so cool. Wouldn’t that make a nice surprise announcement!”.

I agree.

My honey and I begin planning our 25th anniversary celebration(s) last night and I ended up booking us first class tickets on United Airlines in late March to Prague. Neither of us had ever  been there and for some reason as I looked through the world destinations available to me as a Premier 1K with lots of miles, that city caught my eye.

Within hours of posting about it on Facebook, dozens of friends and family commented affirmatively on the decision — many of them having previously experienced this old European city. I guess I feared more “You may want to rethink that”s or “We hated Prague” comments, but was please to see none.

This year also marks my honey’s 50th birthday and we are thinking of planning a “50/25″ party similar to the one we did for my 50th and our 20th anniversary in 2008. I suspect we may do that in July to avoid weather-related travel for those of our loved ones who chose to traverse I-80.

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On another note, the US Supreme Court has determined to hear two key cases revolving around marriage equality on March 26th and 27th. Wouldn’t this be a good year to be able to actually legalize and legitimize our relationship?

Today was Halloween and we had our usual costume party/chili cook-off at work, which was a lot of fun. To top it off, I received the information about my annual bonus (payable next week), which was happily larger than expected. Even after anticipated taxes and 401(k) withholding, I expect to be able to buy my choice of Apple products with impunity.

I’m leaving for Brazil on Friday, which makes my eleventh trip in eleven months. I’ve already booked a week in December, so will be 12/12 by years’ end. I’m not sure whether I will be expected to continue this travel after the new year, but am happy to do so, if asked/needed. I’m still not sure that I would want to live there for an extended period without my honey though.

The weather today was beautiful (mid-70s) and clear. Not so much for those affected by “superstorm” Sandy in the New York tri-state area (NY, NJ, CT). There has been nothing but 24-hour coverage of flooded streets and buildings, houses washed out to sea (or inland), cars destroyed and a tally of some 60+ deaths to-date. Definitely one for the record books.

Tomorrow I leave for São Paulo again. It’s the middle of winter and the forecast calls for rain and nighttime temperatures in the 40s and 50s, so this will be a nice change from our hot, dry spell here in Utah this year (though we did get a nice rainstorm early this afternoon).

One of the events to which I have been invited is a baby shower. My first in Brazil. The mother (who is an employee of the company with which I work — and a friend of both mine and my honey) had asked me to buy her a baby swing for which she would reimburse me. I decided it would make a better shower present — and then I won’t feel bad if I picked the wrong one. I don’t have a lot of experience shopping for newborns.

Two Facebook sites have requested my membership and they are diametrically opposed to each other — the first, the mission reunion site I mentioned previously and the 2nd, an ex-Mórmon (it’s all in Portuguese) site that pokes fun at the church.

I hope I don’t mix up any posts I may make.

In honor of the 80th birthday president of my first mission president in Brazil, a cadre of former missionaries who served under Jason Garcia de Souza are hosting a mission reunion in Campinas, SP, Brazil next April. If I am in country at that time (and based on this year, I may be), I plan on attending.

As a framework to support this endeavor a Facebook page was created and dozens of former Brazilian and American missionaries who served in the Brazil Porto Alegre Mission from 1976-79 have begun to flock to the site.

One American sister missionary who went by the name of “Sister Sandra” during her 18 months in Brazil (the name “Silva” — her real last name — had been previously taken by another sister missionary) privately messaged me on Facebook and wrote, “Elder, what happened to you since your mission?”, followed by a sad face. Apparently after requesting to be ‘friended’, she read my profile, looked at my photos, etc. Now apparently she feels a need to call me to repentance.

For now, I am not responding. I find it somewhat annoying that my personal life, experiences and beliefs are become fodder for people who feel they have a monopoly on “the truth”. I want to rid myself of my resentment before I ask why my life is really any of her concern (see, this is why I need to wait).

A good friend emailed me this week:

I heard something on the news about Mormons marching in the gay pride parade this year?  What’s that about?

And I responded:

A few Mormons who actually “support” equality are trying to make a statement, but this is not an officially-sanctioned activity, by any stretch of the imagination.

They still think that “god loves the sinner, not the sin” so think it’s okay to be a practicing (e.g. active) Mormon — as long as you also practice celibacy the rest of your life.

No thanks.

Here is a LINK to the Salt Lake Tribune article.

ABC-4 reported this:

“What we’re trying to do is say we welcome you.  We want you to be part of our congregation.  We want you to feel safe in our pews,” Munson said.

She is also sending a clear message to other Latter-day Saints.  “We want people in wards all over the world to see us and say these folks are just like me,” said Munson.

The temple going, tithing paying, faithful who say they believe President Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God; want to share a message.  “We have been getting messages from our church leaders about reaching out with love, about never supporting bulling [sic], about being loving and kind to LGBT people,” said Munson.

Latter-day Saints only support marriage between a man and woman, but they also say they love those who support same sex marriage.  Jay Vann who is an active Latter-day Saint from Murray is thrilled about Latter-day Saints joining the gay pride parade.

“By marching in the parade it doesn’t mean that we have to move from our stance whether it’s right or wrong, but these are our brothers and sisters these are our friends our cousin [sic]. I think by marching with them I think what were saying is they deserve to be treated like human beings,” Vann said. [emphasis mine]

And of course, The Onion has an “American Voices” take, which is probably more accurate than is being reported in the mainstream media.